There’s a thin line between a classy joint and contracting Gonoherpasyphilaids* from a fork. Classy joints and seedy establishments may be difficult to differentiate, but I have a surefire way to put your pure (or perverted) mind at ease. The difference is in touchable vs. untouchable sex. Makes sense, right? Well, that’s what I thought too. Here is what sparked my penetrating thoughts on sex you can touch and sex you cannot.
In the August 2011 issue of Philadelphia Magazine** Patrick Kerkstra writes in, “Atlantic City's Last, Last, Last, Last, Last, Last Chance”:***
The whole scene is a collection of pawnshops, low-rent sex stores, bail bondsmen, abandoned buildings and vacant land, broken up by an occasional local restaurant or retailer. And everywhere there are people like Jimmy—on the hustle—who make their beds in run-down boardinghouses or under the Boardwalk.
Kerkstra is commenting on the stark and sudden contrast of AC’s residential area to its resort area. He mentions that while strolling by the construction site of a new casino a SWAT cop told him he needed to get out of there unless he wanted to be hit by a stray bullet. His article discusses the various ways that AC fell from great heights, and ways it is possible to return to those heights. What I thought was interesting was that both the fall and climb had something in common. He writes:
The city needs more entertainment, more dining, more beach- and Boardwalk-centered-activities, and more sex appeal.
Really? More sex appeal? But didn’t he just say that the residential section needed to be cleaned out of low-rent sex stores and whatever seedy business goes along with it? Interesting, I thought, AC needs less of one sex and more of another. The article continues:
Farther up the Boardwalk at Resorts, new owner Dennis Gomes is experimenting like crazy. He’s spliced a Boardwalk Empire retro theme (the waitresses are in skimpy flapper dresses; the dealers don green eyeshades) with explicitly sexual offerings such as a nighttime naked circus. Seriously…. ‘We have to be more like Las Vegas and do these kinds of new things,’ he says. ‘It’s not that you’re selling sex. You’re selling sexuality, and sensuality. It’s one of the ways we can be different from the convenience gambling venues.’
I don’t see much of a difference other than location, monetary investment, and touch potential. Would I like to see a naked circus? Is that even a real question? Selling sex is selling sex. You can call it selling sensuality, but that’s like the difference between eating at a diner or a five star, either way you’re putting it in your mouth. Whether or not cleaning up the residential district by getting rid of sex shops just to dress them up and transplant them into the casino is a contradiction in morality or judgment isn’t really my issue (or maybe it is). My thoughts are concerned with the illusion of sex and the number of sequins it takes to produce that illusion. Classy people apparently want the illusion, but they don’t want to touch it, or if they do want to touch it they want it to cost a lot of money, and be able to take it back to their high rolling suite with room service so they can stay in while still eating out. Seedy people want the same thing, but they pay less and don’t need a casino or an audience.
I don’t know the answer for AC nor do I care to figure it out. I do care that my drinks remain free while I poke at glowing screens hoping I don’t go over 21. I like AC. I would love for AC to flourish. All of AC. AC officials and administrators should concern themselves with all four miles of their little-big city and not just the miles attached to the boardwalk. If the residential community improves so will the resort community. Plus, you should just take care of your own. Your residential community lives AND works in the resort. Instead of hiding them lift them up so there’s nothing to hide.
In the meantime I’m sure AC will be more concerned with their resort “To Do” list which includes untouchable sex, at least for now. Get rid of the sex in the city, slap a flapper dress on it, teach it to do cartwheels, and you’ve hit the sensuality jackpot. But there is really no difference in the sex they condemn and the sex they condone. So there are no actual sex shops in the casinos, yet, but just because it’s not hanging on a retail shelf doesn’t mean it’s not there.
*There is no evidence to support the claim that this STD even exists let alone its fork to mouth contractibility. Also, I do not take any responsibility for Gonoherpasyphilaids. Apparently, you can get it from NOFX.
*** http://www.phillymag.com/articles/atlantic_city_s_last_last_last_last_last_last_chance/
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